My community lost a friend last week. It almost seems silly to call her a friend as we never had scheduled coffee, lunch, drinks or any of the things you normally do with a “friend.” Despite this, I can think of no other way to describe her except, “my friend.” It seems many in this town feel the same way since I keep hearing more and more people describe her and lament her loss in the same fashion I do.

She was 30 years my senior and her life had been filled with accomplishments and adventures that left her obituary (posted below) reading like most people’s bucket lists. She ran marathons before everyone ran marathons, played instruments, learned to fly a plane, and traveled to places like The Galapagos Islands because…”she just really wanted to see it.” This doesn’t even touch her professional accomplishments which were also amazing all the while being married almost 50 years and raising three children. The best part was that the only way I learned these things would be in the middle of a conversation where I would be blathering about something trivial and she would off handedly, with no pretension, slip in a factoid that would stop me in my tracks to ask more. She was fascinating to talk to and, to me, epitomized the famous line from Nelson Mandela’s speech that reads…

“There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

She really did shine as a human being and was a very inspiring individual, particularly to women. Whenever we saw each other at various social events we would chat about a variety of subjects but one of the most frequent was…”ok, what are you reading?” We both love books and would share our most recent “you MUST read…” recommendation with each other. I remember one time a couple of years ago when I was describing a book I was reading and I told her ” I’m really hating this book but I feel like I have to finish it.”

“That’s crazy,” she replied, ” life is too short to read bad books.”

I remember looking at her and feeling like someone just gave me permission to cheat on a test. A light bulb went on. WHY AM I taking something I adore doing and turning it into a chore??? Just stop. Close the book, move on. I realized when reading her obituary that her basic theory of life was to keep doing what you like. Move on. Try something new. I’m sure she was bogged down with the same responsibilities the rest of us are, maybe more. Who knows? Despite them, or maybe because of them she kept learning, kept trying new things. What an amazing example.

I hope I can encourage my daughters to live in such a way. The beauty of being human and alive is our ability to choose and change. This woman was such a great reminder to me to keep in mind that until my last day, I have a choice.

So, my dear daughters…Don’t keep the boyfriend that “has potential”, or the friend that makes you feel like crap about yourself. Don’t box yourself into a career, a hobby or mindset. Ask yourself DAILY what you love and keep doing it. Then ask yourself what you hate and stop doing it or at least make a plan to. The world is massive, the opportunities are endless, explore whatever lights you up. In the words of Mr. Magorium,

“Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.”

This woman did. Then she chose to exit quickly without warning to move on to her next adventure and in magnificent style chose a time of year that she could exit with fireworks blasting all around her. I would expect nothing less.

To finish my advice, I am certain she would want me to ask my children to please, never, never, waste time on a bad book. Life is indeed too short.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/kansascity/obituary.aspx?n=sandy-russell&pid=165734853#fbLoggedOut

After the bummer feel to my last blog update I have been anxiously awaiting some funny/positive things to share. The past few days have delivered (foreshadowing pun intended) just that.

Friday evening led me to a baby shower for one of my best girlfriend’s son and daughter-in-law. Now, let it be known that I LOVE LOVE LOVE a baby shower! And not just because of the cake…but seriously, is there ANYTHING better than that cake?! White, moist deliciousness topped with frosting containing approximately 80 pounds of sugar…per slice. Ok, ok, I’m done talking about the cake.

No, the thing that gets me about a baby shower is the mutual life experience of it all. Anyone who went to college or Optometry school with me can tell you I share this love with Finals week…it’s the comraderie of it all. One of those, “we’re all in this together!” type of things. From organic chemistry tests to ensuring that life on this planet continues by creating more humans…let’s celebrate in it!

Sidenote: Of course there’s always that one person at the shower that has their own personal horror story of labor and birth…and shares it “GASP” with the mom-to-be. The soon-to-be mommy pales and grasps her round stomach as the oblivious fool describes how the “doctor’s hand actually had to be shoved as far inside my uterus as possible, easily up to the doctor’s elbow, so that he could manually pull the baby out of me in a rapid movement that caused me more pain than any human should ever have to experience and then told me I was lucky to still be alive.” Yeah, bit of advice…don’t be that person. Childbirth, in all of its fabulousness, should really be one of those things that is discussed only amongst its veterans.

SOOOO…back to the weekend. Saturday brought us to a wedding!! Some of our dear friends had a daughter getting married. There’s something about watching your friends watch their children in life’s biggest events that seems so special. The bride was beautiful, the parents (our friends) were glowing with pride and happiness and get this…there was a Custom Mac and Cheese Bar at the reception. I don’t even need to use an exclamation mark in that sentence because when you read Custom Mac and Cheese Bar the exclamation mark is inferred. Right?! Oh, there’s the exclamation. To top it all off, I got to watch the flower girl, niece of the bride, in the cutest dress in the universe. The best part of this was that this little pumpkin was teething and fairly grouchy according to her parents so there was concern that her walk down the aisle would be less than ideal. That being said, I SWEAR TO GOD when they lined her up next to that ring bearer she put her hand out and in baby language basically said…”LET’S DO THIS THING!” And strutted her adorable self down the aisle with style. I have the biggest baby crush on this child…seriously, if she disappears, check my house. We’ll be eating Mac and cheese together.

Isn’t she soooo cute???

Enough happiness for the weekend? NEVER! Sunday the older girls and I ventured to “The Happiest 5k on Earth” also know as The Color Run. Basically you run a 5k and every half mile you are sprayed with a color dyed corn starch spray so that by the end of the race you look like a human rainbow.

Kinda like this…

It.was.a.RIOT! I’m not kidding, we laughed for 45 minutes straight. If this comes to your area I beg you to do it…you can walk or run. 10,000 people participated and then there was an “after-party” where they hand out color packets in bright neon colors. They do a countdown and you do this…

And you’re even more covered than before. If you take a quick look around all you see is JOY. What kind of an amazing country do we live in that 10,000 people can PAY to run 3 miles with the sole purpose of getting painted with colored powder? To spend time with my daughters and laugh and enjoy the absolute silliness and stupidity of it all was totally worth the price of admission.

And today, I got to hold the baby we pre-welcomed to this world on Friday. My ovaries are still aching from the preciousness overload. She is the epitome of happiness. I also got to have one of those “full circle moments” that I love as much as baby showers, finals week, cake, and mac and cheese bars.  Seeing my friend revel in her son and daughter-in-law, then watching the new parents already so in love with their new addition…both of these views looked surprisingly similar to the looks on the parents of the bride as they gave their daughter away.  I’m betting they remember the day she was born like it was yesterday.  This parenting trip doesn’t seem to have a very slow speed limit.  It just flies right by.

These days felt so good after the negative junk we’ve all had to endure lately.  It’s such a nice reminder that God looks down and smiles a lot more often than he doesn’t.  To see one of my best friends get to view a piece of her legacy…well, that was also worth the price of admission. Welcome to the world Parker Kingsley…there is a whole lotta JOY awaiting you in your brand new life. Welcome to it.

Why do we always forget how little they are?? The proud  Glam-ma and I with Parker.